Sirius Black

I'm guessing this was one of those Barge comas. I can't complain, because the last time I nodded off on board, I spent six months in Azkaban. I'll take a coma any day.

I talked to Persephone that day the living and the dead could contact us. She's home and happy. There is a point to graduating, for those of you who don't believe in it.

I've had a lot to think about as of late. I've realised that I've used my own standards of conduct to judge other people. I've always placed a tremendous amount of importance on my friends. I didn't have the best home life growing up. My family hated me, and I hated them. My friends were always my true family. I would do anything for my friends, without the slightest hesitation. I just would. For the good and for the very, very bad. I've done terrible things to protect my friends. I've admitted this.

I assumed everyone else was like me. I assumed everyone else would die at a finger snap for their friends. I have been told that I am wrong. That most people look out for their own interests first. I'm not saying that's bad. The point of this is to say that I was wrong.

I was wrong to think that Peter Pettigrew would willingly and without hesitation give his own life to protect our best mate, James. I couldn't even begin to fathom that he would consider any other option, because I wouldn't consider any other option. To choose your own life over the life of your best mate...to me, that's impossible.

But I am not everyone.

I can't forgive Peter, but I can understand that he is not me, and that he was never capable of making the choices that I would have made.

That said, I'm also learning that I put way too much stock in my friends, and I need to learn to put more stock in myself. I have no idea how to do this.

( Private msgs to Snape, Dick, Mozenrath, Wanda, Parker, Hoffman )