sirius_sit_down | *002* Audio

[His voice is a bit...odd. It's overly cheerful, quite obviously fake.]

[Filtered to Inmates]

Do you think everything about the Barge is a test? Every last moment? Do you think it purposefully puts the most horrid, rancid, despicable things on board just to screw with you?

[Private to Severus]

Hello, Snivellus. Why is your evil arse skulking about, allowed to draw breath, when so many good people are dead?

Wichita said I would be tested. Better you than the rat. But stay away from me. I don't need one of Voldemort's minions to remind me of what he did to James and Lily and what he tried to do to Harry.

How do you live with yourself?

[Private to Wichita]

You knew Snivellus was on board and you didn't tell me. Thanks. I could have ran right into his ugly face in a corridor and then what?

[Private to Merlin]

I hear you're a wizard. Why didn't you tell me?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

subtlescience

Do you intend to kill Wormtail for your own stupidity? Really, Black. Suggesting he take your responsibilities as secret keeper.

I never imagined you would treat their safety with such flippant disregard.

From:

sirius-is-a-dog.livejournal.com

Yes. I would if he hadn't already killed himself.

How dare you? How dare you judge me? While you were on Voldemort's side all the while. I had my reasons for thinking Peter should be the Secret-Keeper. It was never flippant disregard. I would have died for James and if I could go back I would die for James.

So, you were in on it then. You knew. Of course you did. You knew all the while that the Potters were going to die, because the rat was one of yours. And silly me, thinking because he was James's shadow, he loved him as I did.

You have no business being a warden. You have no business being anywhere but in pieces or in the ground or in extreme torment.

Edited Date: 2011-06-17 01:21 pm (UTC)

From:

subtlescience

You know nothing about Pettigrew, the situation as it was then and is now, or me.

From:

sirius-is-a-dog.livejournal.com

I know all I need to know about the rat.

However ignorant you think me, I'm learning more and more every day.

Severus. Honestly. All else aside. You know how I felt about my friends. And you bloody damn well know my best mate's life is never something I would have taken lightly. Was I a blithering idiot for trusting the rat? Yes. Will I regret it for the rest of my life? Yes. Throw it in my face all you want if it makes you feel better about your miserable existence. I want to be reminded. You're doing me a favour.

From:

subtlescience

[The response comes nearly two hours later.]

I do know all too well what you would do for the Potters.

You are ignorant, but not in the way you think. If you wish to continue this absurd feud of ours, do it on your own. Knee-jerk reactions notwithstanding, I no longer have a taste for it.

From:

sirius-is-a-dog.livejournal.com

I know something about my future. Am I still ignorant?

Did you know Lily was going to die? I won't ask about James because I know his life never mattered to you. But did you know she was going to be killed and did you sit in your cave and twiddle your thumbs?

From:

subtlescience

At the moment, there is no answer I can give that you will believe. Nor do I owe you one.

[Might as well burst that bubble right now. He switches to video. Instead of annoyed, he simply looks...weary. This isn't as irksome as it used to be.]

I know a good deal more about your future than you, Black.

From:

sirius-is-a-dog.livejournal.com

[When the screen flares to life, Sirius immediately throws on his best glare - the habit of too many years to break now. But when he sees Severus, and how old he is, his jaw drops and a look of total shock wipes away all other expression. He blinks a few times.]

Why are you so old?

From:

subtlescience

[He looks like he's trying - very hard - to bite back a sarcastic comment.]

Do you need a lecture on the effects of age and time, or are you able to come to a conclusion all on your very own?

[Tried and failed. Oh, well.]

From:

sirius-is-a-dog.livejournal.com

[He opens his mouth, closes it again, and puffs out his cheeks, looking quite a bit like a fish.]

So, you're bloody old then. From the future. No wonder you're so smug.

[He tries again with the glare, with the whole 'look at all the fucks I give' sort of look, but he fails utterly. Severus Snape knows years and years of things that he is completely oblivious to. It's terrifying and scary and it makes him feel very, very small. He looks like he desperately wants to ask something, but there's that pride...Snape hates him and the feeling is mutual and this will only lead to mockery. But there are some things that are much stronger than pride.]

Is...is Harry happy?

From:

subtlescience

[The "old" comment doesn't bother him as much as it should. He's only thirty-eight, after all. But he's heard it enough.

There's a long silence, during which he looks down at the desk - presumably at his hand, which is off-screen. He glances away, exhales slowly, clearly biting back whatever hatred he is feeling at the moment.]

Married, three children. James Sirius, Lily, and Albus. If you consider that happiness, then I suppose he is.

From:

sirius-is-a-dog.livejournal.com

[Married with three children. He looked away from the screen, looking off at nothing, perhaps memories of the little baby that married boy with three children had once been. James Sirius. He smiled and his eyes filled with tears that he made no move to brush away. The smile widened and the tears multiplied, until they were flowing down his face. There were repercussions behind his name being the middle name for that son. You don't name your son after your father and your father's murderer. You name your son after your father and your father's best friend. But, for now, he really just wants to rest here, comfortably, in the knowledge that Harry ends up happy. James and Lily were happy in the short time they had together. So, yes, he would consider marriage and three children happiness for their son.]

Thank you for telling me that. [He looked back to the screen, nodding a bit to Snape, still making no move to wipe away the tears. He was blatantly crying in front of Severus Snape. It was a bit surreal but it wasn't nearly as bad as he would have thought. Maybe because they were tears of the best kind.]

Edited Date: 2011-06-18 06:36 pm (UTC)

From:

subtlescience

[He looked somewhat at a loss for what to say in response to being thanked by a tearful Sirius Black. No amount of time on the Barge had taken the edge off the hatred he felt for the other man, but it, combined with the knowledge that Wichita was Black's warden and didn't particularly need his interference or hindrance in rehabilitating the man, had tempered his own responses somewhat.

But this situation was a little too surreal for him. He reaches to shut off the communicator, then hesitates.]

The person I was died a long time ago.

[Since we're getting all personal. But Snape isn't going to let Sirius think they're going to be the very best of friends.]

Rehabilitate and get off this ship. I've a life here, and you're disrupting it.

From:

sirius-is-a-dog.livejournal.com

[He...has no idea what to say or think now, and it's obvious. There is a bewildered, tear-stained boy blinking at Severus Snape. But when he's ordered to get off this ship, his eyes narrow slightly.]

I'll get off the ship when I'm good and ready to get off this ship. There's something I'm here to do. And I won't get that done rotting in Azkaban, even if I do escape.

From:

subtlescience

[Sirius has Snape's full attention now. His expression and tone remain completely neutral - but this could be bad.]

How much has she told you about your future?

From:

sirius-is-a-dog.livejournal.com

And I should answer that? Why? So you can tell her to keep things from me? It's my future and I have every right to know what it is. You want me out of your life? Then stay out of mine.

From:

subtlescience

I've told her nothing of the sort, nor will I.

[A tic jumps in his cheek. Still managing to keep from losing his temper, however. He won't mention that he told Wichita to give Sirius his wand; he doesn't want him knowing he advocated that.

Coldly:]

She hasn't told you everything. Not if your sole concerns at the moment are my presence and Potter's happiness. Everyone on the ship will know the moment you learn the truth.

From:

sirius-is-a-dog.livejournal.com

Good. You can just sit back and wait for me to bugger it all up for myself from afar, you and your little minion. Because that's the plan, isn't it? You're hoping I do something stupid and get kicked off this ship.

[He smirks, feeling pretty confident in his assessment. At the rest, he rolls his eyes.]

Harry will always be my sole concern. What's left to care about when it comes to me, Severus? When have I ever cared what happens to me?

[Too much information. He realizes it a moment too late, sets his jaw, darts his gaze away. He is showing the chinks in his armour to Severus bloody Snape and this is no, no good. Whatever else Severus Snape is, Severus Snape wants him gone, and he can't be gone until he finds out if everything Wichita told him is true.]

I know I'm not cleared. Is that it? You think I'm going to cry a few oceans because the world still hates me? Harry names his son after me. You think I care about a few ignorant peasants who couldn't even bother with a trial the first time around?

From:

subtlescience

You won't be kicked off the ship. The inmates have no choice but to remain aboard.

[He just watches for a moment after that comment. This is a side of Black he hasn't seen before; the other man's defenses are down, perhaps.]

This - [He motions vaguely at the camera, indicating their conversation.] - has nothing to do with your time in Azkaban. Do you suppose I would make mention of something so trivial?

[Sirius doesn't know about the second war. It strikes him suddenly, and he frowns and leans back in his chair. He continues guardedly:]

Minion?

From:

sirius-is-a-dog.livejournal.com

[He files away that Severus Snape has said inmates have no choice but to remain on the Barge, but it's still something he's going to bring up with Wichita. Because, as with everything else on this rust bucket, he has no way of knowing what is the truth and what is a trick.]

Trivial. [He spits out the word and barks out a laugh.] You would think so, having never been there yourself. I'm not referring to my time in Azkaban. I am referring to the entire wizarding world thinking I betrayed the Potters. I am referring to the universe believing I killed the rat and all those muggles. I don't care anymore. Harry seems to figure it out somehow, he wouldn't name his son after me otherwise.

[His gaze rolls toward the screen.] Yes, your minion. Mozenrath. He's been out to get me since day one. Has that been fun for you? I didn't know who he was, I didn't know you were here. And he seems to know so many lovely things about me. He even called me dog-boy. Isn't that fun?

Edited Date: 2011-06-18 08:06 pm (UTC)

From:

subtlescience

[He latches on to that first sentence and holds on to it like a bulldog. Suddenly, he snaps angrily, interrupting the bit about Mozenrath:]

You have no idea who I am or what I've been through. Don't presume to stake any claim to having borne the most suffering when you know nothing about our respective futures.

Your time in Azkaban was trivial. Your supposed crime was trivial. The world didn't care about you as long as you lived, Black. It had other, more horrific concerns.

[A beat, as he tries to get himself under control.]

Don't play the martyr. The Barge has no place for them, and our world has more than enough.

From:

sirius-is-a-dog.livejournal.com

My crime was trivial? [There is murder in his eyes now. They're small and black and shiny and if he could reach through the screen and throttle Severus, he would.] My crime was trivial. My crime was trivial. James and Lily Potter were not trivial, nor was the crime of their betrayal and murder trivial acts. And to think, she used to defend you.

[He shakes his head and clucks his tongue.] Poor Severus. Someone, please feel bad for me! Look at me, I'm suffering! Yet you accuse me of playing martyr, Well, I'm not. James and Lily are martyrs. The rest of the Order that died, they are the martyrs. Every good witch and wizard you and your kind killed, they are the martyrs. I'm just a dumb chap in a Barge looking to turn a few things around. And I'll be here as long as it takes for me to do that. Years and years and years if that's what's required. I've got time to burn.

From:

subtlescience

[He fumes for a moment. Martha would tell him to turn off the feed and find something else to do. He knows he ought to. Instead, he leans forward and holds up a hand.]

Black, your involvement was trivial. Your suffering was trivial. You are trivial. We all are.

If your intention is to remain here and bring them back -

[A look of genuine frustration and what might - might - be sorrow crosses his face, but it's gone quickly. It's not like he didn't consider this at one point.]

You can't change the course of a history already set in stone. The results would be catastrophic for everyone except - [He just looks bitter and disgusted now.] - my kind.

From:

sirius-is-a-dog.livejournal.com

[He folds his arms over his chest, looking every inch the petulant child. What he may or may not be able to do for James is still a fragile soap bubble, and he doesn't want Severus Snape poking at it with his greasy fingers and breaking it. Because he really can't live if that hope isn't there. He just...can't.]

The fact that I'm here tells me nothing is set in stone. Why would it be so catastrophic? [He isn't going there in his mind, about how Harry lived with only that scar, with no sign of Voldemort. He was arrested too soon after the fact to know the full implications of it. Voldemort was after the baby and the baby lived, but he isn't going there. Whether this is a conscious decision of a stubborn mind or otherwise.]